We decided to take a mini vacation to the lake with some friends for the long weekend. We're going to the beach in a few weeks, but found a way to do this too. We thought we needed it. We could use a break. Life has been crazy lately. In the last 6 months, we had a baby, I changed jobs, Rocky changed jobs once and is about to start his second new job. All with our first baby, trying to figure out this crazy thing called parenthood.
I have a need to do certain things "the right way." Almost an OCD strive for perfection. Parenting is one of those things. Now, there are so many other things that I'm so far from perfect on. But with parenting, I'm in charge of another life. Tristan has to grow into a smart, caring, mature, responsible, independent, overall good adult. And those teachings fall on me. That can put a lot of pressure on a girl!
So, this weekend I decided I was going to let a little bit of that go. I'm just going to have a good time. Rocky doesn't worry about things like I do, and he seems to be much less stressed than I usually am.
One example of this is we forgot the stroller and the baby carrier at home. At first I freaked out, but then decided to let it go, and go with the flow. It's not the end of the world and we will still have a great time. We'll figure something out and make it work.
Then I started wondering where all of this pressure and stress come from. Why do I feel like I have to be perfect as a mother and that mistakes aren't allowed? I realized it comes from society and from other moms!
My friend that we are camping with has 2 kids- a four year old daughter and a 1 year old son. They recently moved to our area, but they've been to stay at our house several times. During one of their stays, she told me how she's a clean freak, that she keeps her house so clean and organized and that she's always doing something at the house to keep it clean.
She told me that her kids sleep in their own beds and that her one year old has never been in the bed with her. They both sleep through the night and have since a very young age.
Just last night she asked if I ever considered putting cereal in Tristan's bottle. I told her the pediatrician told us not to put it in his bottle, but to give it to him in a bowl. She said, "yeah, they told us that too, but it would really help him sleep through the night." I haven't complained about him not sleeping so I don't know why this "advice" was offered.
We went to their house on Monday, and yes, I realize they are still unpacking some things from the move and that they have 2 small children, but let me tell you, everything did not have a place and it was not spotless like I had anticipated.
And yes, Tristan woke up a few times last night as he laid beside me in the bed and I nursed him back to sleep each time, but her son screamed and cried for almost 2 hours in the middle of the night.
So, this morning, I woke up with a new outlook on things. Those people that "seem" to be perfect or portray that they're doing a better job than you are, yeah, they're not. Here's my "I'm not a "perfect" parent in your eyes" statement: My house is a mess 90% of the time. My bathroom is almost always in need of a good cleaning. Unopened mail remains unopened and cluttered on my counter tops, on my table and in my car. Tristan sleeps in the bed with us and I don't know when I will transition him to his crib. He's 6.5 months old and I haven't started solid foods with him yet. I breast feed him and sometimes I have to do it in public places. There have been many times that I have sat and held my baby when I could have been doing something else, and I'm sure there will be many more. I'm not perfect by any means, but my child is loved, he is happy, and it works for us.
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