Baby I'm Amazed By You

My child is awesome.  I mean, really!  He just is!  He’s growing, changing and developing so much!  And so quickly!  Everyone told me it would be fast, but I didn’t realize HOW fast!  Tristan can already hold his head up, unsupported for a good amount of time, we’re working on sitting, and the other day he rolled over for the first time! 

He’s overall a very happy baby and I love to see him smile and hear him coo.   Watching each new change and development is so fun and I’m just in awe when he does something new.  I can’t believe he will be 4 months old soon!

But that’s not all that amazes me.  The fact that he is mine amazes me.  I just look at him some times and it’s hard to believe that this is my child.  MINE.  I mean, I’m very well aware that I take care of him and that he’s in my possession.  And I love him like nothing else in this world.  I can’t even explain the love and emotions I feel for him.  But sometimes, it’s hard for me to grasp that he’s really mine.  I don’t know if it’s because I had a c-section and didn’t actually labor and physically have him, or if it’s because he spent time in the NICU, or if it’s just a general new mama feeling.  My heart knows it, but it feels like my brain hasn’t caught up yet.  Maybe it’s like a lot of things in life- you anticipate one thing, but when you’re actually in the moment, it doesn’t feel like you expected, because you didn’t really know WHAT to expect. 

I’ll be glad when the feeling sets in that he’s mine, forever, not going anywhere, and nothing can change that.  By then, he’ll probably be 18 and leaving for college!