What an eventful week! So, at my regular doctor appointment last week, they noticed my blood pressure was high. It was extremely high at the specialist on the next day, but we just assumed it was circumstantial and stress related. Well, I've kept a check on it since then, and it started improving, but this morning, it jumped to 142/104. I sent my doctor a message and she wanted to see me today as soon as they could work me in.
I went in at 2:30, and spent the rest of my afternoon there. She was running late due to a surgery that lasted longer than she expected. They checked my bp, and it was still high, 130/92, but not as high as this morning. They ended up doing more labs. She told me that the labs from last week indicated that my liver enzymes were a little elevated. We're now trying to diagnose why my bp is high... is it pre-eclampsia, or is it just how my body is handling pregnancy? So, they're checking everything she knows to check- blood, liver, kidneys, gall bladder, you name it, they're checking. On Wednesday, I get to do a super fun 24 hour urine collection. I'll take it in on Thursday, have more blood drawn and check my bp again. I see my doctor again next week, unless any of the tests show something that requires her to see me sooner. She noticed that I'm also swelling in my hands and feet. It's early in the pregnancy for this swelling to be "normal." Of course if it's pre-e, it could end up in them taking the baby early.
I talked with her about the specialist's report... she said the specialist's measurements were a little higher than the ones they took at her office (good news), so we're just going to keep a check on everything. The follow up with the specialist is January 14. We'll compare those numbers on that day to the ones the specialist did last week, and look at ALL of them overall, to see if we can detect a pattern.
With my bp being high, she's going to see me every week, probably from here on out. If she thinks it is pre-e, she'll most likely take me out of work all together and put me on modified bed rest. But for the next few days, it's more "wait and see."
I emailed someone that works in the Skeletal Dysplaisa Program at A.I. duPont Hospital for Children in Maryland. I sent her the numbers from all of my ultrasounds so far. She said that nothing is ever definite prenatally, but that these are not classic achondroplasia or hypochondroplasia numbers. Which is potentially good news... but my regular doctor and I think there could still be something going on causing his measurements to be so low. My doctor is wondering if I have two, or even multiple things, going on, and she doesn't want to rule anything out or ignore anything, until we know for certain.
I swear, some of the worst words you can tell a pregnant woman are, "We don't know yet." And I'm the worst when it comes to waiting and the unknown. But I'm taking it one day at a time and dealing with it as it comes. Still saying lots of prayers and putting it in God's hands.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
The Specialist Appointment
I didn't sleep much last night. I woke up between 4:30 and 5:00, went to the bathroom, and laid back down in bed. Only to wallow in bed for about another hour before finally giving in and getting up. I had so much on my mind, and honestly, some of it wasn't the most positive thoughts. I knew how much I needed to get done today, and didn't know how long the doctor's appointment would take or what the outcome would be. And I was hungry. So, I fixed a bowl of cereal and started wrapping presents. Rocky woke up around 7:00 and we hung out around the house, getting things done and getting ready.
The specialist appointment was at 11:00 and we stopped for some breakfast on the way. I was so nervous I couldn't even eat. I thought I was going to get sick. I've been waiting for this for so long, but at the same time, the appointment I was waiting and preparing for was yesterday, and I didn't have enough time to prepare myself for today's appointment.
The took my blood pressure when we first got there and it was very high... I think 148/90. Yesterday it was 124/86, which was still high for me. The u/s tech came in and started the scan. She was very nice, and very good. After she finished, she told us the doctor would come in and do her own scan also. The doctor that we got to see was Dr. Decker, the one that Tanya was hoping we would get in with.
When the specialist walked in, she said, "Well, I'm not too concerned. What do you think about that?" I said, "Well I guess that's a good thing!" She gave us a very good report. She said that Tristan looks very good overall. She asked what we had been told from my other doctor. She explained that, yes, his long bones are measuring short, but he's not showing other signs of achondroplasia or other skeletal dysplasias right now. I do know from my research and from Tanya that some signs don't show up until around 30-32 weeks. She said he definitely isn't showing any signs of a lethal skeletal dysplasia. Praise God! I almost started crying when she told me that! She said that it could be hypochrondoplasia, which is a less extreme form of achondroplasia. She said she still needs to do her research and she and one of the geneticists are going to look at all of the numbers from all of my scans, look into other achondroplasia and hypochondroplasia cases and those typical measurements at these gestational ages. She said she will call me in about a week with an update from what they research, and I have a follow up appointment with her in 3 weeks. I also have a follow up with Tanya in 2 weeks.
This is all very good news! She said all of his other anatomy looks perfect, and that he could just be on the small/ short side. Rocky is absolutely elated. I'm hoping that this is our Christmas miracle, but I'm still scared to get my hopes up too much just yet. I have seen his measurements and percentages, and I know some of the statistics for achon at the gestational ages of his scans. So, I'm still staying realistic, but for now, I'm very happy and I'm letting some of the stress go. Hopefully, by the next appointment with Tanya and with Dr. Decker, if he does have anything going on, it will be far enough along that we will have more answers. Dr. Decker apologized that she still didn't have a lot of news, but she's leaning much more towards the positive side of things. She said that right now, she doesn't see a need for a c-section, and she thinks I can continue with my water birth plans. I'm still going to wait until my next two appointments before I book my doula and birth tub, just because I can't get those deposits back after we pay them.
So, still no definite answers, but I'm counting it as an answer to my prayers and my Christmas present! I would like to thank everyone that has prayed and thought about us on our journey so far. Please don't stop praying, as we are not 100% in the clear yet, but know that prayer works! I appreciate all of the comments and support that I have received and Rocky and I truly thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts. Merry Christmas!!!
The specialist appointment was at 11:00 and we stopped for some breakfast on the way. I was so nervous I couldn't even eat. I thought I was going to get sick. I've been waiting for this for so long, but at the same time, the appointment I was waiting and preparing for was yesterday, and I didn't have enough time to prepare myself for today's appointment.
The took my blood pressure when we first got there and it was very high... I think 148/90. Yesterday it was 124/86, which was still high for me. The u/s tech came in and started the scan. She was very nice, and very good. After she finished, she told us the doctor would come in and do her own scan also. The doctor that we got to see was Dr. Decker, the one that Tanya was hoping we would get in with.
When the specialist walked in, she said, "Well, I'm not too concerned. What do you think about that?" I said, "Well I guess that's a good thing!" She gave us a very good report. She said that Tristan looks very good overall. She asked what we had been told from my other doctor. She explained that, yes, his long bones are measuring short, but he's not showing other signs of achondroplasia or other skeletal dysplasias right now. I do know from my research and from Tanya that some signs don't show up until around 30-32 weeks. She said he definitely isn't showing any signs of a lethal skeletal dysplasia. Praise God! I almost started crying when she told me that! She said that it could be hypochrondoplasia, which is a less extreme form of achondroplasia. She said she still needs to do her research and she and one of the geneticists are going to look at all of the numbers from all of my scans, look into other achondroplasia and hypochondroplasia cases and those typical measurements at these gestational ages. She said she will call me in about a week with an update from what they research, and I have a follow up appointment with her in 3 weeks. I also have a follow up with Tanya in 2 weeks.
This is all very good news! She said all of his other anatomy looks perfect, and that he could just be on the small/ short side. Rocky is absolutely elated. I'm hoping that this is our Christmas miracle, but I'm still scared to get my hopes up too much just yet. I have seen his measurements and percentages, and I know some of the statistics for achon at the gestational ages of his scans. So, I'm still staying realistic, but for now, I'm very happy and I'm letting some of the stress go. Hopefully, by the next appointment with Tanya and with Dr. Decker, if he does have anything going on, it will be far enough along that we will have more answers. Dr. Decker apologized that she still didn't have a lot of news, but she's leaning much more towards the positive side of things. She said that right now, she doesn't see a need for a c-section, and she thinks I can continue with my water birth plans. I'm still going to wait until my next two appointments before I book my doula and birth tub, just because I can't get those deposits back after we pay them.
So, still no definite answers, but I'm counting it as an answer to my prayers and my Christmas present! I would like to thank everyone that has prayed and thought about us on our journey so far. Please don't stop praying, as we are not 100% in the clear yet, but know that prayer works! I appreciate all of the comments and support that I have received and Rocky and I truly thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts. Merry Christmas!!!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Doctor Appointment Update
I didn't sleep well at all last night. This morning was finally the doctor's appointment I've been waiting a month for. The morning didn't go quite as I had expected, but maybe that's a good thing, because I didn't have enough time or energy to really get nervous.
I had to do the gestational diabetes test this morning, in addition to everything else. So, when I got to the office, I had to drink the sugar drink, and then they called me back for the ultrasound. Sheila is the ultrasound tech that did our u/s today. I believe she does all high risk pregnancies, so I wasn't too surprised when she was the one that called us back.
I asked her if she would tell me what she was looking at, and she was pretty good about keeping me informed throughout the process. When she started measuring the bones, I could see the length pop up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. I could tell that the numbers were still small, but I couldn't see them exactly, and if it showed percentages, I couldn't read that from where I was laying. They finally got to evaluate his heart and it looks good, praise God! She told me that he is weighing in at 1 pound 12 ounces.
I finished the u/s and then went for the blood draw for the g/d test. I don't have it!!! Yay! That's one thing I didn't want to have to worry about on top of everything else... talk about adding insult to injury! However, they did notice that my white blood cell count is high.
I finally got to see Tanya, my doctor. She went over the g/d test first. Since I haven't been sick lately, she ordered more labs due to my high white blood cell count, to see if there is anything else going on in my body. Then we moved to the ultrasound. She didn't beat around the bush, and was very honest and forthcoming. She said, "There's no growth in the long bones." Which is really what we expected, based on the last 2 ultrasounds. She said that she's still thinking achondroplasia. Everything else looks good, except now, his abdominal circumference is small. That is typically not the norm with achon babies. She said that it could be that he is right in the middle of a growth transition, where his torso is elongating, and we will start seeing his chest and abdomen protrude more, and that right now, it's just making the abdomen look comparatively smaller. However, with my elevated wbc's she wants the extra labs to try to rule out anything else. At this point, they have pretty much ruled out IUGR, because my amniotic fluid is on the high side and they did a scan to make sure blood and nutrient flow between the cord and placenta are fine, and she said that looks great.
Tanya is having her office set me up an appointment with a maternal fetal medicine specialist as soon as possible. She's hoping they will get me in this week, but it could be next week. They will have a few more answers for me, may possibly have a more definitive diagnosis, and will help determine how we manage everything from this point forward. I'm still anxiously waiting on the phone call to find out when that appointment is. Tanya said it's a lot of hurry up and wait in cases like this.
So, overall, we got the news that I was pretty much expecting. Rocky has handled it pretty well so far. I think we'll be ready to start telling other people after our visit with the specialist. But we haven't decided when to tell our parents yet. It's not exactly the news I want to share with them on Christmas, but I want to go ahead and tell them all soon. We can still use all the prayers anyone wants to send up. We're still hoping and praying for no additional complications, and that we get the best possible diagnosis and report from the specialist.
I had to do the gestational diabetes test this morning, in addition to everything else. So, when I got to the office, I had to drink the sugar drink, and then they called me back for the ultrasound. Sheila is the ultrasound tech that did our u/s today. I believe she does all high risk pregnancies, so I wasn't too surprised when she was the one that called us back.
I asked her if she would tell me what she was looking at, and she was pretty good about keeping me informed throughout the process. When she started measuring the bones, I could see the length pop up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. I could tell that the numbers were still small, but I couldn't see them exactly, and if it showed percentages, I couldn't read that from where I was laying. They finally got to evaluate his heart and it looks good, praise God! She told me that he is weighing in at 1 pound 12 ounces.
I finished the u/s and then went for the blood draw for the g/d test. I don't have it!!! Yay! That's one thing I didn't want to have to worry about on top of everything else... talk about adding insult to injury! However, they did notice that my white blood cell count is high.
I finally got to see Tanya, my doctor. She went over the g/d test first. Since I haven't been sick lately, she ordered more labs due to my high white blood cell count, to see if there is anything else going on in my body. Then we moved to the ultrasound. She didn't beat around the bush, and was very honest and forthcoming. She said, "There's no growth in the long bones." Which is really what we expected, based on the last 2 ultrasounds. She said that she's still thinking achondroplasia. Everything else looks good, except now, his abdominal circumference is small. That is typically not the norm with achon babies. She said that it could be that he is right in the middle of a growth transition, where his torso is elongating, and we will start seeing his chest and abdomen protrude more, and that right now, it's just making the abdomen look comparatively smaller. However, with my elevated wbc's she wants the extra labs to try to rule out anything else. At this point, they have pretty much ruled out IUGR, because my amniotic fluid is on the high side and they did a scan to make sure blood and nutrient flow between the cord and placenta are fine, and she said that looks great.
Tanya is having her office set me up an appointment with a maternal fetal medicine specialist as soon as possible. She's hoping they will get me in this week, but it could be next week. They will have a few more answers for me, may possibly have a more definitive diagnosis, and will help determine how we manage everything from this point forward. I'm still anxiously waiting on the phone call to find out when that appointment is. Tanya said it's a lot of hurry up and wait in cases like this.
So, overall, we got the news that I was pretty much expecting. Rocky has handled it pretty well so far. I think we'll be ready to start telling other people after our visit with the specialist. But we haven't decided when to tell our parents yet. It's not exactly the news I want to share with them on Christmas, but I want to go ahead and tell them all soon. We can still use all the prayers anyone wants to send up. We're still hoping and praying for no additional complications, and that we get the best possible diagnosis and report from the specialist.
The Past Few Days and Tomorrow
Well, the past few days have been kind of tough. I think the anxiety of all of this waiting has built to its limit. I've started swelling, which I'm sure has something to do with the second job and being on my feet so much. My back hurts a lot. I went to the chiropractor on Wednesday, and ended up being bruised from it. Rocky wasn't happy about that at all, but my back feels a little better. I'm supposed to go back Friday, so I'll see what the chiro says and make sure he doesn't do too much to cause bruising again. My hands have started tingling and going numb. Mostly at night and I'm sure it's because I sleep with my arm under my head. But it's also causing them to hurt, and I think I may be developing carpal tunnel because of it. And I can't get comfortable and sleep in general. Just great! I feel like I have almost no time left in the pregnancy- just two and a half months- but that is wayyyyy too long for me to be entering the miserable stage of pregnancy right now!!!
I'm sure my attitude has the most to do with the way I've been feeling. I'm so ready for the morning to be here, but now that it's tomorrow morning, I'm kind of wanting to put it off. I've waited for what feels like sooooo long for tomorrow. And at the same time, I just want a little longer to not know, just in case it isn't news I want to hear. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before, I'm completely fine with a healthy achondroplasia diagnosis. I just hope, wish and pray for no additional complications. Rocky still hasn't accepted the news that we may get tomorrow, so I worry about how that will go. I'm also still trying to prepare myself that we may not (and probably won't) have all of the answers tomorrow. I've done my research, and I've said my prayers. I feel like I'm as prepared as I can be for tomorrow. So for now, I'm going to try my best to get some rest. I'll post updates tomorrow as soon as I can.
I'm sure my attitude has the most to do with the way I've been feeling. I'm so ready for the morning to be here, but now that it's tomorrow morning, I'm kind of wanting to put it off. I've waited for what feels like sooooo long for tomorrow. And at the same time, I just want a little longer to not know, just in case it isn't news I want to hear. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before, I'm completely fine with a healthy achondroplasia diagnosis. I just hope, wish and pray for no additional complications. Rocky still hasn't accepted the news that we may get tomorrow, so I worry about how that will go. I'm also still trying to prepare myself that we may not (and probably won't) have all of the answers tomorrow. I've done my research, and I've said my prayers. I feel like I'm as prepared as I can be for tomorrow. So for now, I'm going to try my best to get some rest. I'll post updates tomorrow as soon as I can.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Only A Few More Days
Only a few days left until our doctor's appointment. Thank goodness. Several people have asked how I'm doing... I'm hanging in there. I've never been known as the world's most patient person... I guess this is teaching me. I'm nervous and anxious, but ready to know something. As long as it's not a bad something. So, as ready as I am, there's a little bit of dread there too.
The extra job has kept my mind busy, but it has also exhausted me. And the swelling has begun. My hands and feet are very uncomfortable. I'm sure standing for several hours most nights at job #2 has quite a bit to do with that. We'll see what my doctor has to say about it on Monday.
Rocky and I have had a few good conversations about the baby and the possible outcome of the appointment on Monday. He is still choosing to remain positive and optimistic, and says that everything is going to be fine. I'm trying to be realistic and prepare both of us for whatever news we may get. I told him that I'm completely fine if the outcome is achondroplasia, I just don't want him to have further complications due to it. I don't want him to have breathing issues, or fluid on the brain, or need for surgery, etc. A healthy baby with achon is completely fine by me. But then again, we still don't even know if it is skeletal dysplasia, that it's achon. Oh, the questions and wondering...
On a different note, I LOVE watching him move around in my belly! I feel him all the time, and I love that too, but when I see him moving, it just blows my mind. Maybe it's because "seeing is believing." But I think it's the coolest thing ever!
Here's my bump day picture from yesterday. Almost (depending on which app, website, etc. you use) in the 3rd trimester!
The extra job has kept my mind busy, but it has also exhausted me. And the swelling has begun. My hands and feet are very uncomfortable. I'm sure standing for several hours most nights at job #2 has quite a bit to do with that. We'll see what my doctor has to say about it on Monday.
Rocky and I have had a few good conversations about the baby and the possible outcome of the appointment on Monday. He is still choosing to remain positive and optimistic, and says that everything is going to be fine. I'm trying to be realistic and prepare both of us for whatever news we may get. I told him that I'm completely fine if the outcome is achondroplasia, I just don't want him to have further complications due to it. I don't want him to have breathing issues, or fluid on the brain, or need for surgery, etc. A healthy baby with achon is completely fine by me. But then again, we still don't even know if it is skeletal dysplasia, that it's achon. Oh, the questions and wondering...
On a different note, I LOVE watching him move around in my belly! I feel him all the time, and I love that too, but when I see him moving, it just blows my mind. Maybe it's because "seeing is believing." But I think it's the coolest thing ever!
Here's my bump day picture from yesterday. Almost (depending on which app, website, etc. you use) in the 3rd trimester!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
My Not-Much-To-Update Update
Like the title says, there's not a lot of new stuff going on. More waiting. Trying to be patient. Keeping myself busy so I don't think about the waiting. But I still do think about it. I only have one more bump day before our appointment, so that makes me feel like it's closer! Here's today's picture:
I swear, I'm getting bigger over night these days!
The baby is quite low when I feel him. Either around my belly button or lower. This concerns me a little, because while I'm pretty sure it's too early for him to get "in position" my doctor said we can't let him get in the birth canal. I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing, but it's a concern.
I feel the baby move a lot, but mostly when I eat. Like, as soon as I take a bite of food! I joke around and say that he just likes to eat, but I'm almost positive my food can't get to him THAT quickly. Then I've wondered if he can hear my digestive system working and if he knows food is on the way. Kind of like the Pavlov dogs you learn about in psychology. Yep, I just choose to belive that my baby is already a genius!
I haven't been working out, because we're still not sure what is going on with the baby and I want to make sure I'm doing what is best for him. I'm trying to make good decisions on what I eat, and I'll just deal with everything else later. I showed Rocky this picture of Heidi Powell (Chris Powell's (Extreme Weightloss) wife) the other day. She JUST gave birth and was doing freaking hand stands in their hotel on vacation. She's freaking amazing. He said, "That COULD be you," to which I replied, "Yes, but I'm trying to do what is best for our son, and I'll deal with MY body afterwards."
I know there's some debate on whether or not pregnant women should work out, and to what extent. When I had bleeding issues in the beginning of the pregnancy, the health educator told me that while exercise is good in moderation for most pregnant women, it hasn't been proven to NOT cause issues. At the time I thought she was crazy, and was upset when she and my doctor told me no running during the first trimester, and we could re-evaluate in the second. After all of my research, I don't want to do anything to take any nutrients or blood away from the baby, when he's already measuring on the small side. I've lost weight before, I'll do it again. And like I said, I'm just trying to not go crazy with my food choices. At 26 weeks, I've gained about 13 pounds, which I'm not upset about.
So for now, another week and a half of waiting, until our next appointment.
I swear, I'm getting bigger over night these days!
The baby is quite low when I feel him. Either around my belly button or lower. This concerns me a little, because while I'm pretty sure it's too early for him to get "in position" my doctor said we can't let him get in the birth canal. I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing, but it's a concern.
I feel the baby move a lot, but mostly when I eat. Like, as soon as I take a bite of food! I joke around and say that he just likes to eat, but I'm almost positive my food can't get to him THAT quickly. Then I've wondered if he can hear my digestive system working and if he knows food is on the way. Kind of like the Pavlov dogs you learn about in psychology. Yep, I just choose to belive that my baby is already a genius!
I haven't been working out, because we're still not sure what is going on with the baby and I want to make sure I'm doing what is best for him. I'm trying to make good decisions on what I eat, and I'll just deal with everything else later. I showed Rocky this picture of Heidi Powell (Chris Powell's (Extreme Weightloss) wife) the other day. She JUST gave birth and was doing freaking hand stands in their hotel on vacation. She's freaking amazing. He said, "That COULD be you," to which I replied, "Yes, but I'm trying to do what is best for our son, and I'll deal with MY body afterwards."
I know there's some debate on whether or not pregnant women should work out, and to what extent. When I had bleeding issues in the beginning of the pregnancy, the health educator told me that while exercise is good in moderation for most pregnant women, it hasn't been proven to NOT cause issues. At the time I thought she was crazy, and was upset when she and my doctor told me no running during the first trimester, and we could re-evaluate in the second. After all of my research, I don't want to do anything to take any nutrients or blood away from the baby, when he's already measuring on the small side. I've lost weight before, I'll do it again. And like I said, I'm just trying to not go crazy with my food choices. At 26 weeks, I've gained about 13 pounds, which I'm not upset about.
So for now, another week and a half of waiting, until our next appointment.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
My Admiration Grows
Who is someone that I admire and look up to? Someone that inspires me to be a better person? My little brother, Danny. I have heard him say the same thing about me, but I honestly don't know any specific reason, or how I have inspired him, other than trying to be a generally, overall good person.
Here are some things about him that some people may know, but most may not. He is difficult to get to know. He doesn't open up and let just anyone in- it takes a lot of time and effort. However, once you do get in, you realize that he has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. He has to protect it- that's why he doesn't let everyone in very easily. He is very thoughtful, loving and giving. He gets great pleasure from helping others. He is one of the most selfless people I know. And if you take a little time to break through that tough exterior, you will see that.
Since he was a teenager, he has logged countless hours of volunteer work, in many different venues. He thoroughly enjoys helping and doing for others. On Thursday, he volunteered at a battered women's shelter, serving food. After he returned, he told me that he enjoyed his experience and that he met some interesting people. I told him I was proud of him, and this was his exact response, "Well, be proud of them. It's a major sacrifice living in that type of community and actually having the courage to get out of an abusive situation."
Tears filled my eyes and my heart melted just a little bit more for him. I'm so glad he is my son's uncle!!! He truly exemplifies a giving spirit. As the holidays approach us, and all year long, we should remember things like this. Try to give back, even in little ways, because it makes a difference for others. As we have hard days and hard times, remember that there are others that are struggling too. We can be a blessing to them.
Here are some things about him that some people may know, but most may not. He is difficult to get to know. He doesn't open up and let just anyone in- it takes a lot of time and effort. However, once you do get in, you realize that he has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. He has to protect it- that's why he doesn't let everyone in very easily. He is very thoughtful, loving and giving. He gets great pleasure from helping others. He is one of the most selfless people I know. And if you take a little time to break through that tough exterior, you will see that.
Since he was a teenager, he has logged countless hours of volunteer work, in many different venues. He thoroughly enjoys helping and doing for others. On Thursday, he volunteered at a battered women's shelter, serving food. After he returned, he told me that he enjoyed his experience and that he met some interesting people. I told him I was proud of him, and this was his exact response, "Well, be proud of them. It's a major sacrifice living in that type of community and actually having the courage to get out of an abusive situation."
Tears filled my eyes and my heart melted just a little bit more for him. I'm so glad he is my son's uncle!!! He truly exemplifies a giving spirit. As the holidays approach us, and all year long, we should remember things like this. Try to give back, even in little ways, because it makes a difference for others. As we have hard days and hard times, remember that there are others that are struggling too. We can be a blessing to them.
Friday, December 6, 2013
How I Get Through The Tough Days
I realized yesterday that I mostly write about my hard days- the ones that are tough to get through, that I struggle with. I don't often write about the good days, unless it's something really over the top that I want to share. For me, writing and blogging is therapeutic, and I don't really need that on the good days. So, I'm going to make it a point to start sharing the good stuff too! :) To start, here's my weekly bump picture from Wednesday!
Rocky says each week as he gets ready to take the picture, "It's no different from last week." But then, I compare it to the picture from the week before, or a few weeks before, and prove him wrong! Here's this week compared to last week. I see a big difference!
But back to my topic at hand. Yesterday was another tough day. I don't know what makes some days harder for me than others. I guess that's just the way life goes. The day before yesterday, I worked both jobs and yesterday I was completely exhausted, so I'm sure that didn't help my mood our outlook on things.
Here's my disclaimer before I go any farther. I am one of the most open minded people you will probably ever meet. I'm always up for a good discussion, pending that the other person can be respectful and not forceful with their beliefs or opinions. I never try to make anyone else feel that my beliefs or opinions are right or are the only ones out there. I just ask that the other person do the same. Because everyone does not practice this, I typically shy away from those tough conversations about religion, politics, general beliefs, etc.
I am a Christian and I believe in God. I think my faith and belief in God is the only thing that has kept me sane so far, and I know I will continue to rely heavily on it throughout this pregnancy, and the rest of my life. Now, I don't go to church every week (sometimes not even once a month). I do drink occasionally (not since I've been pregnant, of course.... and sometimes I could use a good beer or glass of wine!) and I tend to use bad words from time to time (they just help me get my point across so much more effectively, haha!).
I honestly don't know how people that don't believe in God, or a higher being/power, make it through life, especially the struggles and hard times. If I didn't feel like there was a greater purpose behind everything, I would probably lose my will to persevere some days. I feel like every single little thing in life leads us to where we are in that moment, and to where we are going. It's like the movie, The Butterfly Effect. If one tiny thing was changed, it would alter the entire outcome of everything. So, we have to accept the things that happen, and know that they are for a purpose.
So, that's what I've been doing. Turning to God. Especially on the hard days. I know I should turn to him in the good times and the bad, but I especially need Him through the bad. I'm working on letting go of the stress and trusting and believing in Him in all aspects of my life. I've been listening to the Christian radio station, KLOVE, on the radio a lot lately. Hearing those songs can really lift my mood and spirits. They are a good reminder to me of the things that I already know- God is in control, it is all according to his plan, it will be okay.
So, that's how I make it. One day at a time. Give it to God. Know that He is in control, and that's why I can't be.
If you need a little bit of encouragement, uplifting, or just want to hear an amazing song, click on this link. I tried to post the actual video, but couldn't get it to work. I was at the church service the day Jennifer sang this. I got such a blessing out of it, and I listened to it again this morning and it had the same effect, all over again. I hope you enjoy it!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200657874438489
Rocky says each week as he gets ready to take the picture, "It's no different from last week." But then, I compare it to the picture from the week before, or a few weeks before, and prove him wrong! Here's this week compared to last week. I see a big difference!
But back to my topic at hand. Yesterday was another tough day. I don't know what makes some days harder for me than others. I guess that's just the way life goes. The day before yesterday, I worked both jobs and yesterday I was completely exhausted, so I'm sure that didn't help my mood our outlook on things.
Here's my disclaimer before I go any farther. I am one of the most open minded people you will probably ever meet. I'm always up for a good discussion, pending that the other person can be respectful and not forceful with their beliefs or opinions. I never try to make anyone else feel that my beliefs or opinions are right or are the only ones out there. I just ask that the other person do the same. Because everyone does not practice this, I typically shy away from those tough conversations about religion, politics, general beliefs, etc.
I am a Christian and I believe in God. I think my faith and belief in God is the only thing that has kept me sane so far, and I know I will continue to rely heavily on it throughout this pregnancy, and the rest of my life. Now, I don't go to church every week (sometimes not even once a month). I do drink occasionally (not since I've been pregnant, of course.... and sometimes I could use a good beer or glass of wine!) and I tend to use bad words from time to time (they just help me get my point across so much more effectively, haha!).
I honestly don't know how people that don't believe in God, or a higher being/power, make it through life, especially the struggles and hard times. If I didn't feel like there was a greater purpose behind everything, I would probably lose my will to persevere some days. I feel like every single little thing in life leads us to where we are in that moment, and to where we are going. It's like the movie, The Butterfly Effect. If one tiny thing was changed, it would alter the entire outcome of everything. So, we have to accept the things that happen, and know that they are for a purpose.
So, that's what I've been doing. Turning to God. Especially on the hard days. I know I should turn to him in the good times and the bad, but I especially need Him through the bad. I'm working on letting go of the stress and trusting and believing in Him in all aspects of my life. I've been listening to the Christian radio station, KLOVE, on the radio a lot lately. Hearing those songs can really lift my mood and spirits. They are a good reminder to me of the things that I already know- God is in control, it is all according to his plan, it will be okay.
So, that's how I make it. One day at a time. Give it to God. Know that He is in control, and that's why I can't be.
If you need a little bit of encouragement, uplifting, or just want to hear an amazing song, click on this link. I tried to post the actual video, but couldn't get it to work. I was at the church service the day Jennifer sang this. I got such a blessing out of it, and I listened to it again this morning and it had the same effect, all over again. I hope you enjoy it!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200657874438489
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
He Picked Us
I found this the other day and saved it on my phone.
It spoke to me then, and it still does. The day after I found it, I was sitting in the bathtub and I read it out lout to myself. As soon as I finished saying those words, Tristan kicked. It was as if he was saying, "Yes, I picked you." And the tears started flowing!
I've also heard that God hand picks the parents that he gives children to. Honestly, I'm fine with which ever one picked us, I'm just glad they did! This little boy has stolen my heart.
It spoke to me then, and it still does. The day after I found it, I was sitting in the bathtub and I read it out lout to myself. As soon as I finished saying those words, Tristan kicked. It was as if he was saying, "Yes, I picked you." And the tears started flowing!
I've also heard that God hand picks the parents that he gives children to. Honestly, I'm fine with which ever one picked us, I'm just glad they did! This little boy has stolen my heart.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Decisions, Decisions
So, the tough part of parenting begins already. Decision making. Choosing what is best for your baby.
I have found an excellent wealth of knowledge and support from an online message board for parents of children with skeletal dysplasias. Several people have reached out to me regarding my situation so far. One person in particular has recommended that I seek out a specialist before my next appointment with my midwife, which isn't until December 23. Gah, it seems so far away!
My midwife has said that at my Dec. 23 appointment, if his measurements are still low, she will refer me to a specialist. Of course, that is right around the holidays, and I don't know how long it will take to see a specialist. And I don't know how to seek one out on my own if I want to before then.
The girl from the message board recommends that I see one now, because they will do more intense, thorough monitoring of multiple things. They will also begin to form a diagnosis, and my care for the rest of my pregnancy could depend on that.
My concern with waiting is that my doctor, from what she told me, is familiar with one type of skeletal dysplasia- achondroplasia. That's what she told me to research, and said that it could most likely be. From my research, I have learned that there are about 350 types of skeletal dysplasia. And of course, they're not all treated and cared for exactly the same. It could also be IUGR (inter uterine growth restriction), which means I should be doing a few things differently.
Either way, we probably won't have a definite diagnosis until he's born. And it may not make a difference in terms of my care if I see a specialist now.
I really like my doctor too, and don't want to step on her toes. I honestly belive that she has my best interest at mind, I'm just not sure if she's familiar enough with everything that could be going on. I guess I need to talk it over with my hubby. He's been more open to listening to me talk about a few things related to all of this lately. He doesn't say much in repsonse, but he's receptive to hearing me out. I just feel like I can't put too much on him at once. Oh, and I told my brother about everything last Wednesday. His reaction was as I expected. He's very supportive and loving and of course, wants to do his own research and see where he can help!
I just want what is best for my baby. I love this little boy to pieces already!
I have found an excellent wealth of knowledge and support from an online message board for parents of children with skeletal dysplasias. Several people have reached out to me regarding my situation so far. One person in particular has recommended that I seek out a specialist before my next appointment with my midwife, which isn't until December 23. Gah, it seems so far away!
My midwife has said that at my Dec. 23 appointment, if his measurements are still low, she will refer me to a specialist. Of course, that is right around the holidays, and I don't know how long it will take to see a specialist. And I don't know how to seek one out on my own if I want to before then.
The girl from the message board recommends that I see one now, because they will do more intense, thorough monitoring of multiple things. They will also begin to form a diagnosis, and my care for the rest of my pregnancy could depend on that.
My concern with waiting is that my doctor, from what she told me, is familiar with one type of skeletal dysplasia- achondroplasia. That's what she told me to research, and said that it could most likely be. From my research, I have learned that there are about 350 types of skeletal dysplasia. And of course, they're not all treated and cared for exactly the same. It could also be IUGR (inter uterine growth restriction), which means I should be doing a few things differently.
Either way, we probably won't have a definite diagnosis until he's born. And it may not make a difference in terms of my care if I see a specialist now.
I really like my doctor too, and don't want to step on her toes. I honestly belive that she has my best interest at mind, I'm just not sure if she's familiar enough with everything that could be going on. I guess I need to talk it over with my hubby. He's been more open to listening to me talk about a few things related to all of this lately. He doesn't say much in repsonse, but he's receptive to hearing me out. I just feel like I can't put too much on him at once. Oh, and I told my brother about everything last Wednesday. His reaction was as I expected. He's very supportive and loving and of course, wants to do his own research and see where he can help!
I just want what is best for my baby. I love this little boy to pieces already!
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